You don’t know what you don’t know

Have you ever wondered how unconscious influences can subtly (or, sometimes, not so subtly) rise to the surface? If we look carefully, the dynamics at play are not always what they seem. The cripple and the beggar, for example, can carry untold wisdom, while the pious expert can at times be wicked, disingenuous, and deceptive. Following from my most recent post on the notion of archetypes and wounded Parts (“Burn them all”), this article outlines the relationship between two equally important psychoanalytic concepts—shadow and projection, noting their intersections with IFS theory.

Let’s start with a couple of definitions:

Shadow
In Carl Jung’s psychoanalytic theory, the psyche has various elements that either reside in the conscious or unconscious domains. The ego, for example, lives in the conscious domain and can be considered to be our “commander in chief.” However, much of our psychic content lives in the unconscious domain and includes (but is not limited to) the anima, the animus, the collective unconscious, and our shadow. Shadow can briefly be described as “the blind spot in our psyche that contains everything about ourselves that we do not want others to know.” Like a true shadow, the psychic shadow is inseparable from us; it follows us around and remains difficult to see or catch in action. In IFS language we may think of our shadow as heavily blended Parts, highly vulnerable exiles, or Self-like manager Parts who are so focused on protecting the system that they see nothing else. Self-like managers are not differentiated from Self yet. They think they are Self, when in fact they are blended Parts that have not been befriended by Self.

Projection
Sigmund Freud outlined the notion of projection as a “defense mechanism.” In psychoanalytic theory, this is an unconscious psychological process designed to protect us from uncomfortable feelings. These feelings are usually related to anxiety, but they can also be related to an array of distressing emotions, like stress, sadness, or confusion. In IFS theory, distressing emotions are often associated with exiles— which essentially act as defense mechanisms through the process of projection and help us to avoid the distressing emotions. Highly blended Parts (managers or firefighters, generally) defend us against having to feel difficult emotions. In IFS language, “blended with protector Parts” is another way to say “defended by unconscious defense mechanisms.”

It is important to emphasize that projection is normal. As one of the primary ways we are introduced to our psychic content (in IFS language, our Parts), projection is natural to how we function—but not necessarily harmless. Bacteria, for example, are natural to our environment and some of them cause fatal diseases. Having a shadow is natural and normal, too. Elements of our aggression and sexuality need a safe place to reside in order to accommodate cultural norms. In this way, the shadow is as a safe repository for certain primitive impulses and can help us to formulate a functional personality that’s not violent or rapacious.

Projection is a defense mechanism that helps us to manage overwhelming emotions, like anxiety, which can be crippling. As we age and mature, we typically develop more ego strength; in IFS language, we develop curiosity toward (and un-blend from) Parts and thereby access Self energy. With this strength, we can be more aware of our shadow and observe the process of projection. We have the resilience to look more closely at strong emotions such as hatred, disgust, avoidance, or righteous indignation. These emotions are primal and intense and can be too much for the under-developed ego to cope with. Consequently, they are often projected outward onto other people or institutions in the form of criticism, silencing, or righteous indignation.

The process can go something like this, in terms of one individual projecting onto another individual:

“John” is an entrepreneur who experiences extreme emotions of anxiety and fear of rejection. He struggles with the prospect of having his business challenged by competition. The feelings of anxiety and fear of rejection are too big to manage and threaten to overwhelm his system. His psyche has created a defense against the anxiety by allowing an outward pouring of hatred, criticism, and righteous indignation toward his competitor. He often recruits other individuals and even formalized organizational support in this endeavor. This outward expression of difficult emotions (expressed primitively as hatred and criticism etc.) relieves John from having to feel his anxiety and fear of rejection. This negative pattern defends his psyche.

In IFS language, we would say that John’s Parts (most likely exiles) are heavily burdened with feelings of anxiety and fear of rejection, which compel a range of protector Parts to swing into action. John’s protective Parts express hatred, criticism, and righteous indignation towards his competitor. Thus, his exiles are defended, and John does not have to experience his strong feelings of anxiety and fear of rejection.

It’s important to underscore that the psychological challenges of life can be extreme and that it is not wise to wander through the world defenseless and unprotected. And even though shadow is normal, it is still unconscious and capable of causing harm. Similarly, we know that defense mechanisms are normal, however they rely on distorting reality which can, again, cause harm. If we accept that two of the fundamental tasks of life are a) to bring the unconscious into the conscious and b) to develop a world view that is accurate and not distorted, then our shadow and defense mechanisms are genuine opportunities for change and growth.

To say this in IFS language, we know that a fundamental task is to unburden and heal our exiles; we need to develop meaningful and authentic relationships with our protectors such that they give us room to go to our exiles. This can be difficult. Some Parts reside in our conscious, and some reside in our unconscious. Regardless, we must work diligently with our protective system until it relaxes enough for exiles to be known and unburdened. John (and of course the individuals and formal organization he has recruited) needs compassion and help to understand his protective system and get to know his exiles and experience the more vulnerable Parts of his system. To suffer less—and to cause less suffering in others—John must stop expressing hatred, criticism, and righteous indignation.

The P&S article, “Holding the opposites’ tension in polarized times,” addresses the U-turn, a truly beautiful and useful IFS skill. Understanding this skill can be essential to navigating shadow and projection. The U-turn helps us to consider whether we might be carrying some portion of a particular psychological dynamic. It invites us to notice our reactivity, thoughts, feelings, and sensations—and then to be curious. Can you see the overlap between shadow and projection here? Strong and often reactive emotions (which reside in the shadow and are subject to projection) are by definition not noticed and are therefore not exposed to curiosity.

Therapists will often invite their clients to consider a U-turn to spark curiosity and trigger internal growth. Given that in the IFS community, practitioners often take the model outside of the therapy or coaching space, this has led to a culture where the open protocols are used a bit more casually. I have noticed—and been subjected to—the emergence of an IFS subculture that appears driven precisely by the dynamics of shadow and projection, where the U-turn is misapplied and imposed with assumed authority. Have any readers experienced this dynamic, too?

Thankfully, it’s easy to tell the difference between use of the U-turn that’s guided by Self and when it’s driven by Parts. The invitation to do a U-turn should be exactly that—an invitation. Whenever it is used in professional interactions or collaborations as leverage to ensure compliance or exert dominance, shadow and projection are likely at play. When we hear “you need to go and do your own work” or “you really need to do a U-turn here,” for example, we gain more information about the one issuing the demand than we do about the one to whom it is directed.

Put it into IFS language, coercion like this comes from the Parts of the one issuing the demand rather than their Self. If protective Parts can soften and the system can access some clarity, some capacity to notice the shadow Parts would emerge, as would the tendency to project. Noticing and observing projection (un-blending from our own Parts) is essentially the treatment for coercion like this. We can step back and modify our behavior once we are able to acknowledge that we are projecting onto someone or something.

You simply do not know what you do not know. A deeper look into the concepts of shadow and projection can, however, reveal much about our Parts and relationship to Self.